Every person with diabetes that I know cheats after they’ve gotten their A1C read. It just is a matter of fact. The same is true for me. A week and a half ago, I got my blood work done, and then I decided that I wanted to cheat a little. In the week since then, I’ve had Five Guys, Chinese food, Mac & Cheese, Costco pizza. I’m sure there is more that I’m missing but let’s just leave it at that.

Okay, so there is good news. My A1C the last time I had it checked in July was 7.6; my reading this time was 6.7! That is excellent news; the diet is working! I think I need to make my next goal to get my A1C down to 6.5 and then to keep it there. I have a meeting with my doctor tomorrow to go over my blood work, so I’ll potentially have more news about it then. I’m hoping that he doesn’t want me to go on medication because I don’t want to. I want to keep it under control on my own. I’m hoping that maybe I can strike that deal that I keep it under 6.5. We will see.

Since I realize it’s been a long time since I’ve written, let me chat about a few of my favorite things that I’ve cooked. Have you ever made scrambled eggs with cream cheese? If not, you should. It makes the eggs creamier (duh), and it just enhances the texture. I love a soft scrambled egg; you can mess it up if you scramble eggs for too long, in my opinion. Below you’ll see the scramble I made yesterday. I started by cutting up some bacon, cooking it in the pan, and then draining it, then I added some onions to the pan, a little bit of butter and cooked those down. Next, I added some tomatoes; I had the onions and tomatoes cut up from another dish (the cauliflower below). Then my eggs, that I had scrambled and added Everything but the Bagel Seasoning too. I added little pieces of Philadelphia Cream Cheese and lightly scrambled the eggs before adding some Tillamook Cheddar Cheese and some salt. I started to buy the cheese in a big chunk and then shred it myself. I think it saves on freshness, and I waste less. I put the final product in a bowl and then added a little bit of the seasoning on top.

Scrambled Eggs with cream cheese

One of my other favorite things that I made was this sauteed shrimp with cheesy cauliflower. To make the cauliflower, I diced an onion, red pepper, a few cloves of garlic and then sauteed them in a little bit of butter. Once they were slightly translucent, I added three packages of frozen riced cauliflower. I made a huge amount because I wanted leftovers for the next night. I let the cauliflower cook down until most of the liquid was gone. All along, I added seasonings, a cilantro lime seasoning, but you could add whatever you wanted. Then I added some heavy cream, probably 4 oz of cream cheese, and cooked that for a few minutes. Then I added a handful of sharp cheddar cheese. For the shrimp, I sauteed them in Kinders Seafood Seasoning.

Shrimp with cheesy cauliflower

This fried chicken below was probably my favorite thing. Who doesn’t like fried chicken? I’ve been trying to figure out the best way to make it in the air fryer. We bought an abundance of cornstarch from Costco a while ago, and I figured out that this is an excellent way to use it. I started this chicken, thinking that I would make it a jerk chicken. A friend had given me jerk seasoning a long time ago, and I hadn’t finished using it. So, I put the chicken in a ziplock bag, and I buzzed up some fresh garlic, jerk seasoning, and some lemon and lime juice. I let that marinate for four or five hours, and then when it came time to cook the chicken, decided to try the cornstarch method. I patted the chicken dry, then I put it in a bowl with some olive oil and a few tablespoons of cornstarch and mixed it around. Then I cooked it in the air fryer for 20 minutes, turning it twice. When the chicken was cooked, I served it with the leftover cheesy cauliflower.

Fried chicken with cheesy cauliflower

That’s it. I think you are caught up for now. I’ll be better about writing here. It’s pointless to have a blog and not blog.

The sun is shining; I have a fire going; my coffee is right next to me. It’s a good day. This week has been a struggle. I’ve been eating pretty much whatever I want, not walking, staring at the TV. Now that we have a president, I feel like life can move on.

Yesterday I was terrible. We ordered a giant pizza, a Caesar salad, pasta, fried ravioli, then some Ben & Jerry’s and cookies. In my past life, I would have eaten until I couldn’t eat anymore. At least yesterday, I felt like I was slightly under control. Here is the thing, the carbs make me tired. As much as I love them, I know that I can’t handle them the way I used to.

Pesto, chicken and basil pizza.
Fried ravioli, caesar salad, pasta.

I made a promise that I wasn’t going to eat this crap anymore, and always when I do, I don’t feel great. I was going to write this long blog post about a friend who keeps bringing carbs in the house, a woo is me, post about how they don’t understand the struggle. I don’t feel like I can do that anymore. It would be hypocritical of me. So, I need to give myself at least a week without carbs before I can complain about anyone else.

Here is the thing, it’s so easy to want to celebrate because of winning an election, or a birthday, wedding, etc.  I know that I can’t do that anymore.  Now I’m sitting here, afraid to check my blood sugar because I know it is way higher than it should be.  Ignoring the problem doesn’t solve anything, but it sure is fucking nice sometimes.  That’s what people don’t understand.  When the birthday, election, a party is over, and the friends leave the house, the diabetes is still here.  It never goes away.  Yes, one horrible blood sugar reading is not going to kill me, but they are cumulative, so if I don’t get myself under control as quickly as possible, it may kill me.  Does that make sense?  

I’ve turned this into a ranting piece, which I didn’t mean to do. Here is the other thing, I know I’m not working as hard as I should. I should be posting on this blog and Instagram every day. I should be taking care of myself every day. I know I’ve said this before, but when you all don’t hear from me, it means that I’m letting myself go. I’ve put all of these things into place, but I’m not using them. That is my fault. I have to stop doing that. I will stop doing that. Okay, here is to move on. Thanks for taking the time to read this. Today is a new, better day!

It’s been a challenge of a day. I’ve been tired, lazy, and my sugar has been high. I’m not surprised; I ate cookies and ice cream last night. The election has got everyone on edge. We have never had an election here in the US where people are boarding up businesses for fear of violence.

Today was much about self-care. I read, sat on the couch, and made myself drink a gallon of liquid. That will be my challenge for the rest of the week.

Last night we had people over to watch election results. I made tri-tip that I cooked in the sous vide for seven hours, and then I seared it on the stove. Then I used the ninja foodi to grill peppers and asparagus. That was all wonderful. Then I felt like I needed sugar, so our friends went to the store to get cookie dough and ice cream. I baked the cookies, and we ate ice cream.

11/4/20 Blood Sugar

I have to start putting in the work. I know yesterday was a different day because of the election, but I can’t make excuses. My health is the most important thing. So, here is to more of that.

More tomorrow!

We went to San Diego yesterday for my sister-in-laws birthday celebration. There is a fantastic restaurant called Puesto that they wanted to go to. Their tacos are incredible, and I was so impressed that they had a lettuce wrap option for the taco’s so I could still eat right. The only thing that sucked was that I sat on gum, and it ruined my pants, so I had to go and buy sixty dollar shorts across the way; money is tight, so that sucked.

Puesto Tacos

We went and walked around the seaport before we ate lunch. There was a seafood market; I desperately wish that we had packed a cooler cause we would have gone home with some fresh seafood.

Fishing boat

I’m considering making a rule where I have to walk at least one mile a day. I have a friend that does the same thing with running and it’s motivating.

San Diego Walk

I love my sugr. It’s an app that you can use to keep track of your diabetes. I don’t get it for free because my Dr. uses One Touch but I downloaded and am using it myself. It gives you a good picture of your day, and you can put any information in there that you want. So, I think maybe I’ll start posting my daily log from there from now on.

I had Taco’s, chips, guac and salsa for lunch. For dinner, I had a burger on a lettuce wrap from Five Guys and a leftover taco from Puesto that a friend gave me. I was psyched when I got home and my sugar was 98!

Daily Log

More later!

I’m trying to streamline this a little bit more. Honestly, I have thoughts throughout the day, that if I don’t write down I will forget. So I’m going to do a daily timeline that I share with you, and if I need to add anything to it at the time of posting, I will. My goal is to have one post for each day for the next year. I may not be able to do it that day, if I’m traveling, or whatever but I’ll do my best.

Daily Timeline

9:05 AM – I want to eat something fattening and bad for me. This is what happens when I have a lack of sleep. This is one of my triggers that I need to learn how to deal with.

11:07 AM – the tiredness continues, I really don’t want to walk today. I’m looking up videos to make Fathead pizza dough to use for lunch, but it’s too hot to cook things in the oven today.

I did not end up making pizza for dinner. I made pork loin instead.

11:56 AM – Jean Valjean is joining me on a walk.

Seen at Venice Canal

1:14 PM – finished the walk and ate two hotdogs with lettuce as a bun

Hotdog in Lettuce Bun

I don’t have this note-taking down, but I will get better at that soon.

Pork Loin with cauliflower rice
Blood sugar reading.

My blood sugar reading was good yesterday, even after having a drink with some vodka in it.

We are heading to San Diego for a birthday celebration today with a tiny group of people. I’ll have more tonight or tomorrow!

As I pointed out last night, I have this friend, who, as soon as she heard what my blood sugar was on Saturday, decided she would be my Dr. She will be forever called Dr. Evil. She messages me every day for an update on what my blood sugar is, plus what I’ve eaten, and if I’ve exercised. It’s very kind but I imagine it getting old quick.

Goal

I went on another walk to say during lunch, as you can see from the random artwork in the photo below. The Venice Canals are full of wonderful little finds like this.

Venice Canals art work
Protected produce.

I’m not sure why this person has their produce protected, but I love it. I wonder if they are protecting them from animals or random people picking the fruit.

Lunch and Dinner

Lunch was rotisserie chicken and leftover green beans again. Dinner was a salad with power greens, peppers, tomatoes, feta, and blueberries. I made a lemon vinaigrette to go on it.

Chicken and Beans
Homemade Salad for dinner

Blood Sugar

It is getting better every day. My only fear is that I’ll eff it up this weekend when we go to San Diego. I’m going to do my best to make sure that it doesn’t. Dr. Evil will be with us, and I’m sure she’ll watch me.

When I was in my twenties I worked, briefly, on a fishing boat in Alaska. I was going through one of those times where I didn’t know what I wanted to do in my life, that is not an unusual phase for me to be in. Anyway, there was this one specific day when it was storming and we were out in the ocean, we could see land but it took hours to get there. The waves that day were twenty two feet. It’s really hard to imagine what twenty two foot waves look like until you’ve been in them. They are majestic, but frightening as hell. You can’t help but want to watch them but you also want to run from them. If you don’t ride the wave correctly then you smash down, water comes over the bow and you feel like you’re just getting beaten mercilessly. That day my brother insisted that I come up from the bunk and watch look at the waves. I did, but then I went back down in the bunk, closed my eyes and just tried to fall asleep. It’s like I didn’t want to see what was potentially coming.

This morning I woke up, after the debates last night, and I thought of that story. That’s kind of how I feel right now. I feel like there is a big wave coming towards us and no one knows how to steer the boat properly. I want to get into my bunk/bed and not come out until it’s all clear.

This is as political as I’m going to get here. Vote. That’s all. We are democracy and it doesn’t work if everyone doesn’t vote. Please make your voice heard.

Lunch

It’s been extremely hot here in Venice Beach the last few days. You know when it’s in the eighties here it’s really hot everywhere else. I’ve tried really hard not to put the oven on the last few days. Today for lunch I had some leftover rotisserie chicken and some green beans.

Chicken and green beans

I have loved living directly behind the Venice Canals for the last five years. Jean Valjean and I are moving in ten days, so I’m trying to spend as much time walking the canals as I can. I know we won’t be far away but they also won’t be right outside our door anymore either. I went on two walks today. One during lunch time and another with Jean Valjean after he got off of work.

Venice Canals

Dinner

For dinner I had the spinach salad that I love from Costco with some more of the rotisserie chicken. Once again, didn’t have to put the oven on and stayed healthy.

Blood Sugar/Goal

My blood sugar is trending down again, which is great. As stated above I went on two walks today so I definitely met that goal!

9/30/20 Blood Sugar

It’s close to bedtime so I need to run but tomorrow I’ll tell you about a new character. She is one of my dear friends but after she heard about my episode on Saturday she has been on me about my diabetes. She will be known as Dr. Evil.

I checked my blood sugar before bed last night. I wanted to end the week on a good note. My blood sugar had skyrocketed to a number that I’m too embarrassed even to tell you all. Let’s say it was way higher than 200mg, to the point where Jean Valjean wanted me to go to the hospital. I knew that if I got in bed, relaxed, and tried to get some sleep, it would get better. I was up most of the evening with stomach problems, and probably sugar too high to fall asleep. I did get little power naps in. I woke up at 2 am, and I think I finally fell back asleep at about 4 am.

Look at where I ended up in this two week comparison. I had an average of 176 mg of blood sugar this week and an average of 155 mg the previous week.

Two week comparison.

I’m afraid. I’m in a diabetes Facebook group, and a week or so ago, someone posted that their 49-year-old family member died of diabetes complications. It frightened me. Then last night happened, and now I’m terrified. I need to take much better care of myself with no cheat days.

Food

Yesterday, I ate a keto burrito from El Pollo Loco, a piece of chicken, and then we went for a happy hour. I drank a vodka drink and then a vodka drink with peach juice. Once I did that it was over, we then got burgers for dinner; I ate the bun, the fries, and the bacon tots. I knew I was making a mistake, but since my numbers had been okay all week, I thought it would be okay. I was wrong.

Keto Burrito from El Pollo Loco

Today we are going to a wedding celebration for our friend, Elle. There will be cupcakes, comfort food, champagne, etc. I’m going to try to be good. I’ll report back to you later on that. I still haven’t taken my blood sugar since late last night, so that we will see.

I will report back this evening!

I call myself the Self Made Diabetic because I know that I had something to do this. In the last 46 years of my life, I’ve not taken care of myself, which caused this illness.

This morning Jean Valjean was in the bedroom watching a zoom funeral. He was sniffing and then laughing. It made me sad, and I immediately wanted a grilled cheese or piece of something fattening. I eat my emotions, for sure! I took a deep breath and went on with my regular lunch plan.

Lunch

Lunch was left over casserole and some of the chicken from a few days ago.

Cauliflower broccoli au gratin with chicken.

Dinner

I marinated chicken breasts and peppers in fresh lemon juice, tajin, garlic, and olive oil. We also finally finished the cauliflower broccoli au gratin.

Chicken, casserole and peppers.

Blood Sugar/Goal

My blood sugar average was a little higher today. I think it’s because my sleep was off a little bit last night. I did meet my liquid and meditation goal.

Tomorrow we are going to a happy hour with friends. I don’t know that I’ll meet my water goal. I don’t want to have to pee the whole evening. I will try, though.

Gratitude

I’m grateful that the basketball season is almost! Listen, sometimes you have stretch to find something. 🙂

Lunch

A friend of ours told us about a DoorDash deal, you get an entree and a slice of cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory for $15. We talked about it yesterday, but for whatever reason, it didn’t work out. Today was the day! Honestly, I was going to be really good, just get the Cobb Salad and let Jean Valjean and our roommate split my salad but then we started watching the news, and I said ‘f&ck it, I’m getting my own damn cheesecake and eating it.’ I got the lower-carb cheesecake with no bells and whistles. I did not get the usual chocolate chip cookie dough cheesecake that I love.

Cobb Salad from Cheesecake Factory

 

Low Licious cheesecake

Dinner

Jean Valjean and I talked about how Uncle Ben’s changed the name of their company to Ben’s this morning. That got me thinking about broccoli rice au gratin. My mom used to make it for us when we were kids; it’s that kind of comfort food for me. So, I decided that I’d try to make it with cauliflower rice. I looked up a few recipes, but they included cream cheese, which I did not have. I had a little bit of ricotta leftover from when I made that chicken lasagna, so I used that instead. I’ll do my best to write up the recipe tomorrow for this casserole cause it was yummy!!!!

Beef Rib and Cauliflower Rice Casserole

It’s very strange to me, my blood sugar is always high in the morning. When I took it at 11:30 am in the morning, it was like 179mg, and then I took it an hour later, and it was 132mg. I don’t know why it jumps like that. I’m guessing maybe I should just not take it until after I drink a whole 64 ounces of water. It is bizarre.

Blood Sugar/Goal

I met my goal of drinking one gallon of liquid, but I didn’t finish it until just a little while ago, about 9:30pm. It will be interesting to see how often I have to get up and use the restroom this evening.

9/23/20 Blood Sugar

I’m going to leave the gratitude section out tonight. Yes, there is plenty to be grateful for, but instead, let’s all just take a moment to reflect on our own humanity. Let’s reflect on what positive things we can do to change the world that we live in.

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